Devotions with Grandma
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses”- Unknown
“Storms make trees take deeper roots”- Dolly Parton
“I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith!” 2 Timothy 4:7
Last week Shannon asked if I would be willing to write something for the church blog. I initially laughed, because I’m 1- in a master's program and already doing a lot of writing- and 2- a nurse so there’s always something that needs documented. But I also loved the idea. I’ve been a natural writer since I could hold a pen. I’ve always journaled, and several years ago I incorporated this into a Mother's Day gift for my mom and grandma where I shared favorite memories, quotes, scripture, etc.
When my grandma died, I received the journal back and was brought to tears to see the notes she had written back to me over the years; it included scriptures, poems, and quotes. I’ve been feeling the spirit move within me for a while now and feeling like I need to do more to serve God or even our amazing church family. I just wasn’t sure what to do or what that would look like without overextending myself. I thought this might be a way I could do that and thought I could incorporate some of the “Devotions with Grandma”.
My grandma was always my favorite person- she knew it, and everyone who knows me knew it because of how close we were and how highly I spoke of her. She was the wisest person I knew, and she understood me in ways nobody else could. She was who I went to for everything- whether it was to vent about my parents, help hemming pants (there have been a lot of them), or if I was a little short on cash and needed help till payday. She never judged and would always help in any capacity she could.
Looking back, I can appreciate that she was the healthiest person in my life- physically, emotionally, etc. I knew when I couldn’t trust other adults in my life, I could always trust Grandma. She only showed good, healthy love. This is my mantra for my school kids and nursery kids- if nothing else, I want to make sure the kids I care for feel good, healthy love and know that they have a safe space.
My grandma suffered a massive stroke on December 30th. Who did she call when she didn’t feel right? Her granddaughter, the nurse, who she knew was off for winter break and would be there quicker than anyone else could. (I’ve literally beaten ambulances to my parents’ house before.) I had my last coherent conversation with her that day. She passed away the next day, and I was absolutely devastated.
December had taken yet another person from me (my dad, grandfathers, “extra grandma”)- seriously?? Have I not had my share of grief during this month? I literally just helped with the Longest Night service and worked through a lot of my own grief and trauma, and then this happened. Just a few months, Lord, or even a year where I’m not losing SOMETHING, or someone would seriously be helpful. In the last 3 years I have lost so much. I need a break from the grief, and the sadness, and loss. I JUST started the master's program because life has been going well and I thought it was the perfect time.
But then I thought of my kind, sweet, grandma who, over the course of her long life, had lost her parents, all her siblings, her husband, and 2 children. Despite this, she held on to her faith in God to get her through the storm. And she always faced everything with so much strength.
She had always been my safe place and even in her absence, she continues to be my inspiration. So, through my grandma, I’m working on a series of devotionals. I’m hoping this will not only help me through this process but also help you. I think we all might be grieving some things these days. Let’s work through these feelings together, and even in the midst of grief, let’s find hope. We can start by reflecting on the three inspirational quotes and Scriptures above.
Love and blessings, my dear friends.